Here Without You
by Cosmic Castaway
Summary: A mother tries to let go. Character Death


Summery: A mother tries to let go. *Character Death*   
Rating: PG  
Disclaimer: Okay so I don't know I thought it was time to do another sad story, don't ask me why, just Norah wanted this more then anything, BTW Norah is my muse (grins) anyways hope it makes you cry, yes CRY I TELL YOU CRY.   
Author Note: Thank you for the feedback I'm still getting for Twister, I kind of got that writer block flue, actually that's my excuse because I'm kind of debating what to do next and I have an idea, oh well thank you again.   
Thank you goes to Paisley for helping me with this idea, also to Bee for her wonderful words, Debbie, Helena for your kind words and Lee for helping me with the picking of the song ;), enjoy with salty tears!   
I can hear the rain pour down as I stare out the window and the city has the cast of something dreary, a day where you want nothing but to do is sleep. How can I sleep though, on a day like this? The drizzle, the mist that has come up from the hot roads of the city has fit my mood, the overcast that seemed to know my feelings as I stare out into the city into the skyscrapers. The mist, the haze is with me because I am not crying yet, the kind of tears that leave wet salty tears that leave those red trails, no just the tears that you know your about to cry but just can't muster the strength.   
  
As I continue to think all I can do is ask myself questions over and over. Why did you have to be the hero? Why couldn't you pick a job that didn't risk your life, that even after you went home you where on the job 24/7? Why do you look out for others when neither I nor others protect you from harm? Why do I have to bury you? I'm not suppose to have to bury you, it's wrong, you're suppose to be the one to bury me, get old and talk about me in past reference.   
  
Turning around I look at you once again, trying to comprehend what I was wishing and dreading all at the same time. My son, my poor son who lays on the bed not even aware of what is going on. So pale, no life, everything that made you is just not there.   
  
"Are you ready?" Looking up to the man that asked this is standing there in a white jacket and all I can he's the angel of death, killing my son, taking you away from me.   
  
She wanted to say no that she wasn't ready that this wasn't the time to do this, that her son would wake up and everything would be just fine, back to same old normal times. But even the law of physics was against her and her son. Even her heart told her whatever made her son was no longer present in the room long gone from this world and onto the next, his body left over for her to weep wishing that he would just simply open his beautiful eyes.   
  
Breathing in as deeply as she could she nodded enough only the doctor could spot, waiting for the approval but as the doctor prepared she took a couple steps towards the bed.   
  
"Wait," the doctor stopped immediately waiting word "just wait."   
  
Grabbing the hands of her son she put the lifeless cold fingers into her own, warm soft she tried to bring life back into them but knowing that wasn't possible. How she wished she could transfer life, everything just so he would be okay so he was walking around again, but it wasn't going to happen and that broke her.   
  
Closing her eyes again she placed the hand against her cheek with tears now rolling down and hitting the tip and sinking into her son's fingers she then nodded her head once more for the doctor to continue as she whispered inwardly.   
  
"God please don't hate me, let me know I'm doing the right thing.....I love you so much Maurice."   
  
By then the doctor had done what was necessary to stop the machines that was keeping Maurice Boscorelli alive at the moment. The heart monitor screamed as the body reacted quickly to no life support, nothing to help it continue on even if there wasn't a soul willing to come back to the world of the living.   
  
When the monitor stopped and the doctor stopped and walked out leaving them be, Angela held on tighter as he son died right in front of her, killing everything inside of her.   
  
She gave this human being life, her son, gave birth to him and now she couldn't stop his death. It didn't seem fair. He was cheated, she was cheated. The world wasn't suppose to keep turning, keep moving because her son wasn't there. There to share it with them to laugh and cry along with everybody else who was all right. God it pained her so much that the world continued even though a part of her world was dying.   
  
She dropped Bosco's hand and threw herself onto his body, the tears now unstoppable.   
  
Thunder clapped as the rain poured harder, fierce and fury outside just like it had been the day this happened to Maurice, one month ago. It wasn't even something huge, it was something small, like change, nobody was for sure. All they know is Bosco was there, hero once more to even the odds.   
  
Bosco had stopped at a small gas station to get something to drink before heading home for the night. He wasn't even in his uniform, regular civilian clothes, ordinary like everybody else who walked into that place.   
  
Two guys had begun to argue, shoving and pushing, swearing, Bosco stopped what he was doing and stepped in naturally to even things out, to get each one another calmed and to walk the other way. Only it wasn't that way, one pulled a knife, God knows why and Bosco didn't even get a fighting chance.   
  
They did everything they could but the knife wound had done it's job, leaving Bosco in a coma and never to regain consciousness. The doctors wanted to be positive but they knew, as did everybody else, as that if he woke up all Bosco would be is a vegetable, never to have a life again to have people do everything for him, no longer a functioning human being. It was Bosco's fate, no second chances, it was meant to be.   
  
Now one month later, Angela Rose was asked by the doctors to let her son go, to kill him off official to finish off what the knife should'a done. How could she keep him like that, in the world where he wasn't living anymore? Nothing would bring her Maurice back.   
  
'My sweet, sweet Maurice, how much you brought joy out of my life. Loving you from the day you were born and now even after your gone I still love you. How can I continue, here without you?'   
  
This running through Angela's mind as she stared out the window, thinking feverishly, wondering if she was doing the right thing and turning around making her discussion a man brought her out of her thoughts.   
  
"Are you ready?"   
  
It surprised her more then it did him.   
  
"No, I'm not."   
  
What kind of question is that anyways? Are you ready to pull the plug to kill your son, literally? The saying goes "I brought you into this world I'll take you out,' and that is how it stands for every mother, but a mother doesn't truly wish that on her child, a true mother that is. A mother that has unconditional love, that would die first before ever seeing her child hurt or even killed, would give her own life to make sure her child continued to live.   
  
That's why her response was the way it was. Maybe some day he would wake up in a month or next week or hell even in a year she would be ready to say 'yes I'm ready to terminate him.' But today wasn't going to be the day she could let go officially.   
  
"Please leave us be."   
  
Not arguing the doctor left the two alone as the rain once again poured down hard, thunder clapping over ahead. Angela pulled up the chair, grabbing the cold hand up into her own, stroking it gently, putting his hand against her cheek and closing her eyes.   
  
No, today wasn't meant to be the day Maurice Lewis Boscorelli truly and forever left this world, not until Angela Rose Boscorelli his mother, was ready physically and mentally.   
  
THE END   
  
Angel   
  
Spend all your time waiting  
for that second chance  
for a break that would make it okay  
there's always one reason  
to feel not good enough  
and it's hard at the end of the day  
I need some distraction  
oh beautiful release  
memory seeps from my veins  
let me be empty  
and weightless and maybe  
I'll find some peace tonight  
  
in the arms of an angel  
fly away from here  
from this dark cold hotel room  
and the endlessness that you fear  
you are pulled from the wreckage  
of your silent reverie  
you're in the arms of the angel  
may you find some comfort there  
  
so tired of the straight line  
and everywhere you turn  
there's vultures and thieves at your back  
and the storm keeps on twisting  
you keep on building the lie  
that you make up for all that you lack  
it don't make no difference  
escaping one last time  
it's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh  
this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees  
  
in the arms of an angel  
fly away from here  
from this dark cold hotel room  
and the endlessness that you fear  
you are pulled from the wreckage  
of your silent reverie  
you're in the arms of the angel  
may you find some comfort there  
you're in the arms of the angel  
may you find some comfort here 


End file.
